As First Date Ready as You’ll Ever Be
Modern day dating is one thing but post lockdown may have you over-excited or even a little anxious. We can’t guarantee lifelong partnerships but if you follow our golden rules, you’ll at least be prepared!
Think you’re coming across suave by over-exaggerating your achievements and qualities… yuck. Just the right amount of humbleness is refreshing and makes you human! Try and find that balance between not being sob story sad but bringing a healthy dose of genuine about yourself and your life… You don’t need to tell-all on your life story but be yourself!
So, your profile picture looks amazing, your entire online persona has been ridden of creepy ex’s and photos that could come back to haunt you. Your whole social media profile is basically on fire. You have cool friends; you post awesome memes and photos with filters. Except you’re so groomed, filtered, censored and edited your date won’t even recognise you! At the end of the day, it’s lovely to create our own profile as a representation of what we want it to be but it is important to have some “normal” unfiltered photos on there, ideally, if you have met online and are going on a first date it might be a good idea to have some clear full body shots on your profile to show.
How late is too late? If you’re genuinely running late by accident then end a courtesy message to let them know. Intentionally, fashionably late is off the cards. No one appreciates it, just show up on time, the end.
You might be looking to get married in like the next five days and your biological may be ticking .. Tell them what you’re looking for in terms of a committed future as they may be looking for a casual fling, so set that record straight in order to manage both your expectations, without telling them you needed to be pregnant yesterday. There is no shame in owning your truth, tell them what you want in your future.
If someone says they don’t mind, take their word for it, take the reins and make a suggestion. There’s nothing worse than both being in the ‘I don’t mind, you pick’ camp!
From a female perspective and in the history of womankind no one is usually ever enthralled about receiving an explicit pic, especially ahead of a first date. That would make most women want to run for the hills! Maybe when you’ve been together some time and actually built on the online relationship a little and have explored it together, but straight off the bat? NOPE. Don’t do it. If you’re interested in potentially pursuing something longer term it shouldn’t even cross your mind!
Most people would rather not fake laugh at poor attempts of humour and prefer to engage in conversation. Let it flow. When you get to know them a little then you’re better prepared to know what humour they appreciate. You’ll probably find your own rhythm and especially if you click with someone the humour may flow naturally in the conversation.
Ok sometimes we just know, don’t we? Sometimes we don’t need to endure an entire date to realize they will likely never light our fire. Whether it be total lack of physical desire, mismatch of energies or wanting different things. But sometimes, we don’t really know, and not all loves have to sweep us off our feet. They can be slow burners. So go with an open mind and open heart, most of the time the very best loves catch us unaware.
If we only appreciate them for what they are, with a mature understanding that neither one is for the other – tempting as it may be to become a shapeshifter, encouraging them to fancy us, even subconsciously leading them on for our own little ego boost. Be aware, if someone is not for you, don’t mess them around but embrace your capability to recognise what you don’t want, because all these experiences are leading you closer to what you do. Dating a good match but ‘not your type on paper’ is totally different from compromising on a level where they tick none of your top boxes! Spending time with people who aren’t for you will block the right person from getting to you.
It’s a classic, but it’s important. If you’ve never met before, meet in a public place. Have a plausible back up plan in case. It may be worth researching, but there are little-known phrases you can say in order to alert a staff member in a restaurant if you’re feeling unsafe.
Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon